You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Who died my cat blue again?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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