If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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