Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
