I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize