just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm passing your future prison.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
