their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
