she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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