I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Text me some of your sweat
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
