and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
