"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize