Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
