i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
