Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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