If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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