i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
