Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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