after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
