all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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