Your tits are I can't wait for
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think my moral compass just broke
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
