I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i drank out of a bidet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
