They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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