The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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