I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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