I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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