I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
