Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
