Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
