it hurts more in the daytime
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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