i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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