i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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