the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So. Much. Porn.
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