but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Terrible idea I love it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
