dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
