No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
