She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
As shirtless as possible
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
