who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
