I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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