I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
