My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
