Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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