Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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