My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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