her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
