I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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