Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
