You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
