Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
