why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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