just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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