so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
