well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
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the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize