spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
