hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
