Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
