Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
