Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Farmville is her only friend.
this just has baby written all over it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
