I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize