Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
