Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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