she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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