next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
