There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
