So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
