Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
